


Screams in his Ear

by aravenwood



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Child Death, Danny Whump, Gen, Nightmares, Protective Steve McGarrett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-12 00:45:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15328011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aravenwood/pseuds/aravenwood
Summary: The problem with nightmares is that sometimes they're just a little bit too real.





	Screams in his Ear

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Here's another fic for the my bad things happen bingo card - this one is for the prompt "nightmares".
> 
> Be mindful of the tags - this one gets pretty dark for a while. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Gracie!” Danny screamed as he shot bolt upright. His vision was blurred and his mind felt as though someone had shook it up like a snow globe. He could barely breathe and his chest burned as a result. He didn’t know what was happening – all he could focus on was his daughter’s screaming in his ears. She was dead, but his ears hadn’t gotten the message yet.

Dead. His daughter was dead.

He could still feel her blood on his hands and chest, could taste it on his lips from when he’d kissed her beautiful little face and begged her to stay with him. She’d looked up at him with those big brown eyes and choked out desperate sobs as he’d pushed down harder on the gaping wound in her stomach. Every cry was another blow to his gut which had stolen away his breath and made him hate himself a little bit more. His daughter’s eyelids had flickered as he called for her, and between one blink and the next, she was gone.

The memory had his eyes watering and his chest tightening, and before he could stop it an ugly sob escaped his lips. His hand shot up to cover his mouth and hold back any further noises. He had to be strong. He couldn’t crumble like he had before, because if he’d controlled himself before then Grace would still be here.

He hiccupped around another sob and then curled up, pressing his back against the sofa. His forehead dropped to his knees. He had to be strong, he told himself again even as he crumbled. “Gracie,” he whimpered, “I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.”

He’d never hated himself quite like he did now.

“Hey, Danno?”

He flinched and brought his knees closer, buried his head deeper. His entire body was shaking now and he couldn’t stop the sobs anymore. He couldn’t and he didn’t want to. Gracie had been the most important person in his world and now she was gone, and she deserved to be mourned with every inch of his being.

“Danno?” Steve called again, and the couch sunk beneath his weight. A gentle hand landed on his knee and Danny flinched away from the touch. He’d always taken a secret level of comfort from Steve’s touch, and he didn’t deserve that comfort after failing to protect his own daughter.

“Gracie,” he whimpered again.

Steve’s hand was back. “What about her, pal?”

“It’s my fault.”

“What’s your fault? What happened to Gracie?”

“My fault…”

“Danny, look at me. What about Grace?”

Danny choked on a sob and forced his head up. His eyes met Steve’s and he almost flinched at the concern he saw there. Steve knew, Danny was sure he did. But maybe this was his own form of punishment – forcing Danny to repeat over and over again what he’d done and make sure he never stopped feeling guilty. The words were stuck in Danny’s throat, but he had to say them. He had to face the punishment he so clearly deserved. “She…she’s dead,” he mumbled and hearing the words from his own mouth was like experiencing it all over again. He buried his head in his knees once more so that he didn’t have to look at Steve.

For a few moments, there was only silence, and he was sure he could feel Steve’s heavy glare on him. But then the hand on his knee moved to his face and pushed gently until he had no choice but to look up. “Danno…” Steve’s voice was thick with emotion, eyes filled with pity. “Bud, nothing happened to Gracie.”

“They shot her! They were aiming at me but they hit her instead and I couldn’t…I couldn’t save her!” Danny blurted, his face crumbling. Tears soaked his face as the scene replayed once more in his head; Grace too heavy in his arms, her skin pale where it wasn’t stained with blood. Her chest heaved one more weak breath, then fell still for the final time. “Gracie…”

“Gracie’s safe, she’s alive and well with Rachel. You remember that, bud? You remember picking her up from school yesterday and bringing her here for dinner?” Steve said softly.

Danny couldn’t think about that. Seeing her so happy and alive was a frightening change from how she’d been in his arms. The contrast was stark, almost like he was seeing two different figures with his daughter’s face. “I don’t…” he started, then trailed off.

“It was just a nightmare. A horrible, traumatic nightmare but just a nightmare. It wasn’t real, I promise. Gracie is safe.” Steve sounded so genuine that it made Danny even more confused. He didn’t understand – he’d seen her die right there in his arms, had felt her blood and heard her take her last breath. It had been so real that there was no way it could be a nightmare. No nightmare could be that vivid.

“I…” He frowned at Steve for another few seconds, but couldn’t take the pity he was seeing there. He whimpered and hid his face in his hands, blocking out anything that wasn’t his own agony. Grace’s screams grew louder and he wanted to squeeze his fingers in his ears like he was six years old again, but he couldn’t.

Steve didn’t try to touch him again, and Danny was glad for it because that meant that the warm feeling of comfort in his stomach was gone. He didn’t want to be comforted, he wanted to mourn.

He didn’t know how much time had passed when something hard touched his ear and a voice called his name.

“Daniel.” Rachel’s voice was soft and tired, but there was no anger there, no exasperation like he was so used to hearing from her. He couldn’t speak – what could he even say to her? “Daniel, Commander McGarrett told me everything, and I’m telling you that you’re wrong. Gracie is here with me, I promise. She’s safe, I just looked in on her and she’s sleeping soundly. Nothing has happened, whatever you’re thinking it didn’t happen. it was a dream, Daniel,” she said, and he hadn’t heard her speak to him so compassionately since before the divorce. Was this the dream instead?

“Rachel, I…” He broke off again to sniff and wipe his nose with the back of his hand. “I just…” He didn’t know what to say.

Rachel sighed. “Just a moment, Daniel.” And her voice fell silent, but when he listened closely he could hear floorboards creaking, a door opening, and then a soft voice speaking to another. He waited.

“Danno?”

He stopped breathing. “Monkey,” he wheezed.

“Danno, what’s wrong?” Grace sounded tired, but her voice had never sounded so beautiful in his ears. Those softly spoken words immediately replaced the desperate wheezes he’d been reliving in his head for the past several minutes.

He coughed to clear his throat, not wanting his daughter to hear him sounding so weak, so broken. “Nothing’s wrong, monkey. I just…” He sighed. “I just needed to hear your voice.”

If she’d been fully awake, Danny was sure she would be picking apart his words and trying to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering him. He was glad that she wasn’t because he never wanted her to know what he’d dreamed. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if she had to live with that fear the way he did.

“Ok, Danno,” she said softly. “Are you ok?”

Sometimes he couldn’t get over how smart his little girl was.

“Yeah, monkey, I’m just fine. Sorry for waking you, on you go back to sleep. You’ve got a big day at school tomorrow, right?”

“Uh huh.”

Danny huffed out a weak laugh. “Night, monkey. Danno loves you,” he said softly.

“Love you too,” Grace answered, her voice drifting off as she fell asleep once more.

The phone was silent for a moment before Rachel spoke. “Goodnight, Daniel.”

He smiled. “Night  Rach. Sorry for…yeah. And thanks.”

She hummed down the phone, then hung up without another word.

Danny handed Steve his phone back. “I uh…sorry.”

“No problem, Danno. You feeling better?” Steve asked. Danno nodded. “Then it’s fine. You think you can get back to sleep now?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Danny said, even though he knew that there was no way he was getting another moment of sleep.

Steve looked him up and down, then shifted so that he was settled against the back of the sofa, picking up the TV remote on the way. He flicked it on. “Heyyyy, Hell’s Kitchen! Love this show!”

Danny smiled a little. Sometimes Steve surprised him with how observant he could be. There was no way Danny was getting back to sleep, and no way Steve was going to leave him to his thoughts. He turned his attention to the TV. “Oh come on, what the hell’s he doing?” he called, waving a hand at the screen. “Even you could do better than this shmuck!”

 As he watched, the images of his daughter dead in his arms began to fade. They didn’t disappear completely, but at least now he knew that they weren’t real. Gracie was safe.

She was alive.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
